SOME EC DEFINITIONS:

• Carrots are fruit
• English Channel has been re-named The Channel (EU Interreg iiia Project)
• Kid meat is lamb
• Whisky is a hazardous chemical substance
• Soya milk is not milk
• Shetland Wool is not an agricultural product
• Bananas are classified as agriculture, not food
• Bees are a food producing animal
• Horses are for eating
• Farmed park deer is classified as wild life
• Iceland has railways (it doesn't)
• Domesticated quail are not poultry
• British oaks are not true oaks
• Flavour is not a part of EU seed trial criteria
• Bombay Duck is produced in "establishments"
• Pigeons are not pests
• 15-18 year olds are "adolescents" if they have left school or "children" if they have not
• 999 emergency number to be replaced with different numbers for ambulance, fire, police and motoring
• Subsidiarity - "..shall relate to areas for which the Community does not already have exclusive competence."
• Wine is an agricultural product; beer is an industrial product.
• The unemployed are merely unused potential labour stock.
• Rock Salmon must be called Huss.
• Sea Bass (which is a white fish) must be called Red Fish
• Ginger Marmalade must be called Ginger Preserve.
• Scots Pines from Scotland planted in Germany are now classed as German Pines.
• English apples do not taste better 
• Frogs may only be killed in approved establishments
• The absence of a tax is a government subsidy
• Illegal jam flavouring in biscuits is permitted because it is not jam but biscuit.
• Tax avoidance is a crime
• Honey is produced by bees
• When selecting GM crop trial sites, damage to other farms is not a permissible criterion.
• A lumpy sauce is a vegetable
• Vegetarian sausages are not "sausages"
• Scottish kilts are women's wear
• MacIntosh red apples are not red
• Isle of Skye is not an island (BBC R5 21/1/03)